I think I heard a Robin.

The old adage that states "Time heals all wounds" is complete and utter bull shit. Clearly spoken by a person who has never truly been wounded. I do believe that Time will help me to live with this wound and that Time will teach me to trust again. Heal this wound? No. There will always be a raw, open, bare and vulnerable hurt on my soul. Of this I am certain and of this I am glad. For it is proof that She. Really. Was.

Last night I thought I heard a Robin.

Our little star...

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder how you are?

I am sure we were having a girl. And on that night in the hospital, as I drifted in and out of consciousness from blood loss, I saw her. She looked like our son, but uniquely different. Her hair was darker, her eyes were brown, but she had the same chubby little hands and the same kissable chin that Caleb has. In this moment, she laid her cheek against mine and I felt something akin to peace. Perhaps it was acceptance? I knew though that I would go on, that we would survive and that someday, I would hold her again.

I love you dear one.