I am Tabula Rasa...at least today.

Keira and I have been enjoying some pleasant afternoon walks this week. For the past three days we have been accompanied by gaggles of Canadian geese. On the first day I thought to myself: "Self, are those silly birds are just waiting until NOW to fly away!?!" On the second day I thought "...perhaps they came north only to find it was still winter and are now flying back?" Today I am hoping that they must portend the coming of spring! Even the optimistic chickadees are agreeing with me as they sang cheerful songs of "Springs Here" most of the day.

I took the photo below, yesterday afternoon, when the afternoon light was at its warmest. Flowers on my window sill are an indulgence that I have been quite enjoying the past few weeks. Their cheer takes away some of the gloom of -30 C weather.

To my own critical eye, the broken petal in front and the spot on the petal to the right rear bother me. But honestly; nothing in nature is perfect. That is why it is. Perfect.

Their cheer also reminds me of the joyfulness which is an ever present, yet under recognized, component of the human condition. Over the last few days I have been eye-deep in literature on the weird and complicated ways in which mothers and babies can die in pregnancy. It is very heavy material to cover and comes with a learning curve which really has nothing curvy about it (really, why don't we just call it a learning-ladder? You know, straight up!). Surprisingly though, in the midst of the "nobody makes it alive out of pregnancy" content, something as simple as these flowers brings me joy. Huge joy! My personality is such that I naturally meditate on the serious and grave. I am a worrier and a stresser - yet my innate human must be an optimist because these random imperfectly perfect 'things' bring a profoundly simple, yet pure joy. I wonder then, is it my soul which smiles when my brain ponders?

Credit where credit is due.

So who would have thought that going through bank statements could be such a walk down memory lane?

January: U of C purchases for myself starting a new semester (books and such)
February: First time I bought lunch at the hospital while doing my final focus
April: Buying supplies for my dear sister the day my lovely niece was born.
May: Eric buying things in California (the first time we have been apart for that long). Me buying lunch at Rockyview Hospital during my orientation. Studying for the CRNE with my mom.
June: Celebrating writing my CRNE exam, my first pay cheque from AHS. Celebrating with my mom for retraining to be an RN (again, what an amazing woman!)
July: Visits with family, no more pay cheques from Eric's old job (!), helping reno a house
August: Camping with family, Piper being sick, celebrating becoming an RN, going for a holiday
September: Eric starting school, me starting a full time line.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Maybe not a lot to someone just reading this, but for me going over my financial history line by line, I sure remember 2010 as being a HUGE year for us. So many prayers answered, so many blessings bestowed upon us, so much hard work. Some tears, lots of laughs, sleepless nights and sleep-in mornings. Wow. I am thankful.