If a flatulent canine emission were visible...

...I am quite sure it would be the color of peanut butter and just as thick. Is that disgusting enough for you? I could go on. There is plenty of odoriferous inspiration sitting right next to me on the couch. Blech.

I think I will now try my hand at a bit of silliness which will take its form as a Haiku:

Keira, you smell bad.
But I love you anyway.
Your smile deceives me.

I giggle to myself and she sighs again. I question who is really getting the last laugh.

I ponder...

Silence. I am struck by how this word does not mean the absence of sound. As I sit I can hear the swish-swoosh of the dishwasher, the tappity-clicking of a keyboard and mouse and the occasional sigh from the dog. If I listen closer I can hear my own breathing, the creak of a chair or a laugh from upstairs. So no, not quiet, yet it is silent. Soft- muted-homey sounds which are a soothing balm to frayed nerves. I can almost feel this 'silence', like it is a quasi-tangible state of being which wraps itself around me, whispering in my ear "Ssshhhh, it's Ok. You're home and you're safe and you're all right. Here with you are those you love; both those in body and those in spirit. Here is peace." I am comforted and I am thankful.

Do you think that maybe this silence could be God?

Fragg-nabbit and Blasted-mindfarnkels

That title beautifully describes my emotional state of being. I HATE writing reflection papers. Why should I have to validate what I feel with how someone else feels? Can't I just be original and write something true to myself? I understand relating how I feel to practice and standards and ethics and all that jazz...but this business of writing an academic diary is driving me around the bend. In fact, it has driven me around the bend. Straight up the driveway to the big crazy house where 14 clowns are waiting to greet me and strap a bright red ball on my nose so we can all run around yelling "meep-meep".

YEARGHRHLKJLFIADHAHAHAH!

*sigh* I better get back to writing. But first, where did I put those size 16 shoes?

"Free and easy down the road I go"

I'm a fan of Dierks Bentley. His voice is low and sweet and I enjoy the music lyrics very much. I know it is country music, but you know what? I am tired of being a closet country fan...I'm playing it loud and proud (well in my earbuds at least).

So it's been a while since I have updated the blog. Since Rusty's death it has been quite a crazy ride. Man I miss that little guy. We brought him home on Saturday. In a paper bag. Still feels so wrong, but somehow it feels a bit better knowing this ordeal is really over now, his suffering is gone and his little soul is free to run around in kitty-heaven.

I was thinking of him last night at 01:00 hr when I was still awake trying to connect the concepts on my concept map that was due this morning at 08:00. When he was healthy he would have come down at least once to check on me and ask "When are you coming to bed? This is an un-catly hour and you should really be curled up beside me right now." I miss that. Instead though I had a Keira-puppy who kept looking at me going "Mo-om, it's really past my bedtime...but I can't go to bed unless you come too". So I sat there, and she sat there, I sighed, she sighed...and it went on like that. Beautiful brown eyes and expressive eyebrows 'beetle-ing' at me from under the chair. My hubby was up with me though, he was doing homework too (and helping me with mine!).




I thank God every day for him. Do you know what it is like to have someone that you are excited to meet every morning and be thankful for every evening...just to have known them for another day? A stranger reading this may think I am expostulating (I had to check that one in the dictionary!), that what we have is nothing more then young love. Well, we have been married coming on seven years now and although we are still young...there is nothing naive about what we have.

So what else? Well the semester is almost over for me. My conference on the weekend went very well. We did a presentation utilizing narratives from the Baby Boomer and Silent Generations with respect to their own health constructs. Very interesting but boy-oh-boy and man-oh-man am I glad to be done! All I have left for this semester is one more 'dang-blasted-oh-how-I-loath-them' critical reflection paper and one community dissemination (which when I think of it will likely have WAY more then 50-75 people attending). Then I start working full 8 hour days again...oiy. Well having a better paycheck in December will be nice...the glass is half full right?

What else? Well I can't think of much more at the moment. The last three weeks have been spent draining my literary mind and pouring words onto paper in shameless splurts and bursts. It is a great feeling to be able to control that stream and channel it into something which is representative of the personal me, not just the professional me. This week is almost over even though it has barely begun. I walk along and I feel a bit more of that "me-ness".

"Ain't no tellin' where the wind might blow"